Here is week 1 of our new segment, Sports with Friends. Our first guest’s rant written by Dylan Rabidoux:
Football changes people. Mostly for the better, unless you’re one of those anti-football people. In which case, I don’t understand you. It saves millions of people from depression as summer comes to an end. It gives the average person something to look forward to every week. I don’t care if you’re not a die-hard fan of any team, or a fantasy guru, because if nothing else, it’s a damn good reason to get together with friends. Appetizers are prevalent, good beer is widespread, and for Christ sake, even the commercials get better.
But, with all great things, some bad comes along with them. I believe it is my duty to complain about them given the nature of this blog and its creator. So here it goes.
Complaint 1: Nothing pisses me off more than people who know nothing about football, that insist on talking about it like they’re experts. Usually it backfires, and they make a fool of themselves to anyone who knows anything. But, on the off chance that everyone in the room doesn’t pick up on it immediately, I make sure I ask refined questions to bring out their football idiocy. Like, no one gives a shit if you don’t know who Odell Beckham Jr. is. You’re perfectly accepted in the football atmosphere if you’re just here for the guacamole. But please, don’t google how many sacks Jason Pierre-Paul had through the first 8 weeks of the 2016 season and find a way to force it into conversation. There’s a 110% chance I’m gonna hate you.
Complaint 2: The commercials. Not the quality, as mentioned earlier, I happen to think the quality doubles from summer to week 1 of the season. It’s the quantity. There is exactly one hour of play in a football game, barring overtime. How the FUCK does the typical game last like 3.5 hours. I’ll tell you how with this very common scenario. Offense is driving. 2:30 left in the half/game. The offense runs 2 plays and then comes the two minute warning commercial break. Then play resumes, the offense scores, and then comes another commercial break. This next one kills me, and mostly everyone I know. They kickoff, then go immediately to another commercial. At this point, I’m ready to rock a small child. Finally, we sit down, ready for another drive and this little red flag comes out on the field. Along with that, another commercial break. The fact that it’s not uncommon for 2:30 of play to take 30 min real time is utterly ridiculous and disrespectful to the fans. Let’s move it along NFL, you’re great but you have potential to put people to sleep with all the delays and bullshit.
Rant over, I still love football season.
Guest Writer: Dylan Rabidoux